Friday, September 23, 2011

Stressed and Blessed


Lately I have been feeling a lot of stress about all the upcoming changes in my life. I am worried about Logan and how he will react to another baby. He is literally my best friend and I don't want him to feel like we've replaced him. I am worried about whether or not to have a c-section again or to try a v-back. The annoying thing about military insurance is that I have to see the doctors that they tell me to see not who I want to see. So since we have been living on base I have seen 3 different doctors and have been told 3 different things about how and when I will be having this baby. I know ultimately it is my decision but I want to make sure that I am doing what is right for this baby and for my future children. It sucks living here because we have no friends and no family close by, so if I go into labor I pretty much have no one to call to watch Logan while I am in the hospital. Sure there are ladies in the ward that are willing to help but I don't know most of them so it's hard to think about living my son with someone I don't really know. I really want my mom to be there when I have her but my dad is having surgery on October 3rd which is really close to my due date, so the possibilities of her being able to make it here are really slim. I'm stressed about money and making sure that we get our bills covered every month. Mike works about 10 hours a day and hardly makes enough money to get us by every month. There are a lot of things going on that make me worried and stressed and sometimes I don't think I can handle it.


With all this stress I still feel truly blessed. I am blessed to have a husband that has a job and is willing to do whatever it takes to take care of our family. I am blessed that my family is healthy and happy and growing. I am grateful to have the gospel that is constant and always there as a source to turn to. I am lucky to have such wonderful family members. My family and Mike's family have always been there for us willing to help us out whenever we need something. I am blessed to have 2 siblings serving missions that are great examples to me and my family. I am blessed to have found a job doing something I love (coaching gymnastics) that is willing to wait for me to have the baby and recover before I start working. I am thankful for a place to live, food on my table, and clothes on my back. I know that life gives us lots of trials and plenty of stress but I also know that I can get through these things when I reflect on the blessings that I have and when I turn to my Savior for help.