Friday, May 3, 2013


Well Michael has been gone for 1 month, 1 MONTH!!! THATS IT! Ugh! It seems like its been forever. So for the past month I have been a single parent 95% of the time. I have gained a lot of respect for those mothers out there don't have a spouse to help them out. I have come to the conclusion that I am not cut out to be a full time stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong, I love my children but I just don't have the patience to be home all the time. Judge me all you want but I need my breaks from my kids. I have worked my entire life, since I was 15 I have pretty much always had a job. Even after I had both of my kids I was working 3 weeks later. I like to work and I need to work for my sanity. I loved coaching gymnastics because I was only gone from the kids for 3-4 hours and it was perfect cause I missed them while I was gone and I was happy to see them when I got home. Now that I am home full time I am trying to find the balance and I haven't seemed to find it. I can tell that my patience is slowly diminishing and it sucks. I find my self getting mad about the dumbest thing and quickly losing my temper. I have been praying every night for more patience so hopefully I will find out how to cope. I have the best support system, my parents are amazing for letting us live here and they are very helpful with the kids. I have great friends that I can complain to and are always willing to offer advice. But nothing beats my best friend, my partner, my husband, their dad! I have discovered how much I need him and how much the kids need him. It was so easy to be patient with him around and he helped me get through the struggles that I dealt with on a day to day basis. I miss him so much. I am on the verge of tears 90% of the time and I am doing my best to keep it together.  I miss him! 1 month down 4 more to go...wish me luck!


LaDawna said...

All I can say is, it is hard to deal with everything on your own. I can say that, because I have done the exact same thing.
So I feel for you. And it is good that you are at your parents house during this time. You can do it!!!
Love you.

Bre said...

You can do it! Love ya!

New Adventures Await Us... said...

You've got this and it is temporary! He will be home before you realize it. You'll look back on this past year and see how you have grown and changed and how the kids have grown and changed. This experience will definitely help you realize how important your spouse is and how much you rely and need them. You can do it though!! I'm here for you as well!