Saturday, April 16, 2011

CHCHCHCH changes......

This month has been full of changes. Starting with my quitting my job. I have coached gymnastics for 8 years at the same gym. I loved my job, loved the girls, and frankly never wanted to leave. But due to things that were said and done to me by my managers I felt that I could not work there and be happy. I was devastated to leave and am still having a hard time coping with the change. Before I had quit my job Mike and I moved from our 3 bedroom apartment in Idaho Falls to a smaller, cheaper 2 bedroom it took us 2 days to move and it was awful, then 2 days later I quit my job and packed up again and I moved to California with my parents. It was a hectic week and something I never want to do again. I was planning on staying in Idaho Falls while Mike was in boot camp but unfortunately it didn't work out. Amoungst all that craziness I had to say goodbye to my best friend and send him off to boot camp. He left on April 6th and it was horrible to say goodbye to him. He was trying to be strong for us but I could tell it was just as hard for him to leave us. So its been about a week and a half since I have seen or talked to him and I am missing him more and more every day. We are only allowed to write letters and if he is lucky he might be able to call once or twice. It is hard coping with all the changes and to take care of Logan all day everyday by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my son, I'm just used to having help from Mike. I am trying to keep myself busy which is proving to be a hard task because I don't have any friends down here anymore and there's not much to do on a limited budget. I am getting by though. It is sad when Logan calls for his "da da" because he doesn't understand where he is. I show him pictures of Mike everyday and play videos of him so Logan can remember him. To be honest I am sad and lonely, I miss my best friend and I didn't think it would be this hard. I am grateful for my parents and for their support and it is nice to have them to rely on. Hopefully with time it will get better, but for now it sucks!!! Also for those that didn't know, I am pregnant with another baby. We are thrilled and can't wait to find out what it is. I don't know my exact due date because I haven't been to the doctor yet due to insurance reasons, but I am thinking I'm about 15 weeks along. If everything goes well with the insurance I have an appointment on Wednesday and we might be able to find out the sex...I HOPE! Love you all!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you Jess! Hang in there; the time you have apart will help you be stronger and more in love!! It sucks now but it'll only be a short time! If you or Logan need anything let me know!! Love you!

Unknown said...

Life is tough... im sooo sorry! wish i was there and i could help you! thats SUPER exciting that you and mike are having ANOTHER baby!!! yahhhh!!!! you will have to share soon! hang in there! LOVE YOU!!!! call if you wanna talk mmmkay! xox

LaDawna said...

We love you and Logan too. I understand the feeling of being lonely and missing Mike. You will have your ups and downs. But you will get threw it. Just hang in there.

Rachelle said...

I am so sorry for all of the crazy changes. I hope you are able to find some friends soon!!